Bean Night Story

Once upon a time a small elf balanced at the top of a pyramid of equally small elves. Flib reached as high as he could, trying to reach a shoe on the very top shelf. “I can almost reach it,” said Flib.

The elf just below said, “You better not fart.”

“Maybe I can stretch just a little more,” said Flib.

“Don’t you fart!”

“Uh oh,” said Flib. A squeak turned into a rumble turned into the sound of two tectonic plates flapping together.

“Last night was bean night,” wailed an elf in dismay.

A cloud so faint it barely wavered the air began to float down the pyramid. The elves grabbed at their noses, setting the whole structure to rocking until all the elves fell to the table, grunting as they landed. As each layer fell from its place they released farts of their own, setting the air of the whole room to dancing.

The shoemaker walked into the room then stopped and sniffed. Then sniffed again. “That’s it, no more bean nights,” he said, and walked back out.


A Little Curry Story

Once upon a time Winnie the Pooh removed a honey jar from the shelf and sat down on the floor with it between his legs. He settled himself comfortably, pulled off the lid, and looked inside. Something about the jar seemed different.

As he started to reach into the jar a head with a long white beard pushed out.

“Who are you?” said Pooh.

“I am Dumbledore. Now if you would kindly stand back,” said the head.

Pooh Bear scooted back and the head continued to rise from the jar, followed by the body beneath it wrapped in a blue robe covered in sequins and stars. Dumbledore stepped from the jar and kicked a drop of honey from his purple silk sandals. “Well, it would appear my teleportation spell has gone a bit funny.”

“You what?” asked Pooh.

“I was trying to teleport into Gryffindor. Well nevermind, I’m here now.” Dumbledore looked around the room.

A knocking came from the cupboard at the back. Pooh stood and opened it. “Hello, I’m Harry Potter,” said a figure crouched within. It unfolded itself from the cupboard and stood and stretched.

“Harry, what are you doing here?” asked Dumbledore.

“I was trying to teleport to Gryffindor but ended up here.”

“Hmmm, me too. I wonder what the issue is,” said Dumbledore.

“It must be Ron’s curry. It always does things like this.”

Dumbledore looked around the room again then picked up the jar of honey and poured a circle around himself on the floor. “Come Harry, stand in the circle with me.”

Harry carefully stepped into the circle beside Dumbledore.

“Now Harry, let’s hug.” After a moment’s hesitation Harry put his arms around Dumbledore then they both disappeared with a soft chime.

Winnie the Pooh stood there for a moment then said, “That must be a very special curry indeed.”

Winnie has a Taste Story

Once upon a time Winnie the Pooh sat on the floor licking the last bits and dribbles from a pot. There was a knock at the door. “Come in,” said Pooh.

The door opened and Rabbit walked in. “Winnie the Pooh, have you seen my special jar?”

“I’m almost certain I haven’t,” said Pooh.

“Wait a minute, that’s it right there!” said Rabbit, pointing. “It looks empty! What did you do?”

“I just had a small taste,” said Pooh.

“A small taste? That was full of whiskey!”

“Was it?” said Pooh. He peered into the jar and gave it another lick before looking back up at Rabbit. “You know Rabbit, you’re actually rather attractive.”

“You’ve had more than enough,” said Rabbit, snatching back the jar. “Now I’m going to have to make more.”

“You can make more?”

“Not for you.” Rabbit turned and started walking for the door.

“Wait,” said Pooh. He tried to stand but just fell over sideways instead. “Maybe I’ll just stay here and take a nap.”

“That sounds like a good idea. And next time say out of my tree.”

“Whatever you say, Beautiful.”

Harry Potter and the Tasty Spell Story

Once upon a time Harry Potter walked into the room to find Ron and Hermione in the middle of an argument.

“That’s not funny Ron!” said Hermione.

“I thought it was,” said Ron.

“What’s going on here?” asked Harry.

“I was about to take a bite of my vegan burger when Ron transformed it into beef.”

Harry blinked then said, “That’s actually pretty funny.”

“Oh!” said Hermione and stomped out of the room.

Harry Potter and the Special Package Story

Once upon a time Harry Potter and Ron were bent over a large box.

“I’d rather be bent over someone else’s box right now,” said Ron.

“Hush Ron, now help me get this lid off.”

Together the two of them pried the lid off the box then looked inside. Staring back up at them was a fuzzy bear dressed in shirt and pants. “Hello, I’m Rupert. The one and only,” it said, then it stood and stretched. “Thank you for opening my box. It’s been a while.”

“You’re a talking bear,” said Ron.

“Of course I can talk,” said Rupert.

“You must be magic,” said Harry.

“I’m not magic, but I’ve been told I can work magic before.” Rupert held up his hands and wiggled his fingers.

Just then Hermione walked into the room. “Oh good, my special order is here.”

“Yes I am, and I’m ready to get to work,” said Rupert. “Oh wait a moment, just one more thing.” Rupert reached back inside the box and pulled out a bottle of lotion. “All ready.”

“Right this way please,” said Hermione, and together they walked out the door.

“I guess I better get myself a fuzzy bear costume,” said Ron.

Harry Potter’s New Spell Story

Once upon a time Harry Potter put down his book and farted.

“Harry, that’s a bit rude don’t you think?” said Ron.

“It’s my new magic spell,” said Harry.

“What do you mean?” said Ron.

“Come have a sniff,” said Harry.

“No way,” said Ron.

“Come on Ron. You can’t be scared of a little wind.”

“Oh fine.” Ron stood and crossed to where Harry sat then inhaled deeply. “It, it smells like strawberries.”

“I know,” said Harry. “Magic.”